HIGH IN THE SKY 1990 ‌EPISODE‌ ‌2 ‌-‌ ‌IT’S LAUNCH, NOT LUNCH! ‌ ‌ Written By‌ ‌ George Kirkland ‌Edited by Alexis Harbottle Shaleigh Rae ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ George Kirkland Animations@MontanaMan.org CUT TO: INT. CAFETERIA, EARLY AFTERNOON LIU JUN, NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV, WILLIAM McCALISTER, ANNA MAURICE, and CONRAD are sitting together in the cafeteria. Conrad is speaking to Liu. Liu is reading a book and not paying full attention to Conrad. --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 1 Original [CONRAD You know you wouldn't be calling me a horny freak if you just... had whoopee with me that night instead of throwing me out the airlock... LIU JUN You were the one who actually believed that I wanted to meet you for a date *in the airlock*. It’s a human form of humor called *sarcasm*. look it up sometime. And why are you mad? Can’t your species breathe in space or something? CONRAD There is a reason why my species is the most persecuted in the Galaxy, because we’re perfect! We’ve engineered our DNA to be able to withstand anything! Zero-G? Vacuum of space? I can even calculate orbital mechanics in my head if needed to maneuver out of the way of obstacles!... Is any of this impressing you? LIU JUN No] REWRITE CONRAD When I said I was fixin' to "go out" with you, I didn't mean out the airlock... LIU JUN Think of it as a "human joke". Besides, can't your species breathe in space or something? CONRAD And how! We’ve engineered our DNA to be indestructable! space, burning, drowning, crushing, stabbing... impressed yet toots? or do I need to keep going? LIU JUN I'd say keep going but I don't have all year --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 2 ORIGINAL WILLIAM McCALISTER All right, I have the perfect expulsion plan. What if I get a- LIU JUN Will you stop it, please? CONRAD Don’t you mean: Will, can you stop it? ANNA Not what she meant. WILLIAM McCALISTER Stop what? My struggle against the chains that bind me here? WILLIAM grins at NIKOLAY and motions to CONRAD ANNA AND LIU. WILLIAM McCALISTER Was it not the great breadline poet Karl Marx who once said “comrades, potato farmers, lend me your ears. The protozoans have nothing to lose but their chains!”? NIKOLAY That is not what Marx said and YOU know it! LIU JUN Nikolay. Don’t. That’s a Shakespeare misquote with the sole purpose of making you angry. WILLIAM McCALISTER (smugly) Please, he probably doesn’t know Shakespeare, only Dusty-evski or a lame play about an Orchard and social changes in turn-of-the century Russia. NIKOLAY IT’S DOSTOYEVSKY AND YOU UNCULTURED SWINE AND- wait, you have seen the Cherry Orchard?? NIKOLAY is dumbfounded,LIU finally puts down her book and goes from “ticked-off” to “angry” LIU JUN Will! Nikolay! Can you stop butting heads for 10 minutes please? It’s enough dealing with this guy! LIU points at CONRAD, who perks up like a dog having everyone paying attention to him. ADAPTATION ------------ WILLIAM McCALISTER All right, I have the perfect expulsion plan. What if I get a- LIU JUN Will you stop it, please? They'll never kick you out of this school WILLIAM McCALISTER YOU CAN'T SILENCE MY STRUGGLE!! Was it not the great breadline poet Karl Marx who once said “comrades, potato farmers, lend me your ears. The protozoans have nothing to lose but their chains!”? NIKOLAY That was Shakespere not Marx and YOU know it! ANNA Protozoans...? WILLIAM Like YOU know anything about poetry. All you know is Dusty-evski's lame-ass "All Russia is our orchard" NIKOLAY IT'S DOSTOEVSKY!! And CHEKHOV wrote Cher- wait you've actually read Cherry Orchard? LIU JUN Will! Nikolay! Can you stop butting heads for 10 minutes please? It’s enough dealing with this guy! LIU points at CONRAD, who perks up like a dog having everyone paying attention to him. --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 2 --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 3 ORIGINAL--- LIU JUN (cont.) Seriously, William! Can you stop causing problems for just ONE DAY? Please? I've been so stressed out recently that I can't even read with a clear head! Every day, it’s some stupid, harebrained scheme to get off the station that ends up affecting everyone. A montage of LIU being affected by William’s stupid pranks plays. (Liu reading manga in her bed and a red alert/siren going off, Liu opening a door and there being suds on the floor as alien students slip and slide by and an unphased Anna slides by whilst smoking a cigarette , as well as last episode's gravity shenanigans.) NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV Comrade William. You need to stop your schemes. They are a continued nuisance to the entire station, and it seems as if Comrade Liu has felt the brunt. If you do not cease, someone could get killed! ANNA chuckles. And pinches will’s cheek like an aunt going “lookit this little guy” ANNA MAURICE Will’s a softie. He tries not to hurt anyone. Unless you count him getting the snot kicked out of him afterwards. Hell, with all the effort you’ve put into your schemes, you could have built your own rocket home. *laughs* There is a brief silence at the table aside from Conrad munching a sandwich. LIU JUN goes back to her book and speaks without looking up. LIU JUN Well… what if we actually just did that? ANNA, NIKOLAY and WILLIAM McCALISTER (in unison) What?!? REWRITE --- Seriously, William! I've been so stressed out recently that I can't even read with a clear head! Every day, it’s some stupid, harebrained scheme to get off the station that ends up affecting everyone. A montage of LIU being affected by William’s stupid pranks plays. (Liu reading manga in her bed and a red alert/siren going off, Liu opening a door and there being suds on the floor as alien students slip and slide by and an unphased Anna slides by whilst smoking a cigarette , as well as last episode's gravity shenanigans.) NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV It is true Comrade William. If you do not cease, someone could get killed! ANNA chuckles. And pinches will’s cheek like an aunt going “lookit this little guy” ANNA MAURICE Ah Will’s a softie. Nobody ever gets hurt, unless you count him getting the snot kicked out of him afterwards. CONRAD Why, with all the effort you’ve put into your schemes, you could have built your own rocket home. LIU ponders LIU JUN Well… what if we actually just did that? ANNA, NIKOLAY and WILLIAM McCALISTER (in unison) ....What?!? TO BE CONTINUED --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 3 --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 4 ORIGINAL---- LIU JUN What I mean to say is that we each have skill sets necessary to build a spacecraft. Conrad somehow understands orbital physics innately, Nikolay can weld, Will can usually source things people need, despite his incompetence in classes. WILLIAM McCALISTER Hey! I’ll have you know that I am proudly wasting my potential! LIU JUN (cont’d) …Anna is our resident computer programming genius. And as someone who understands all of the above (of course), I could supervise. If Will wants to go home, I say we can all chip in and actually send him back. WILLIAM McCALISTER Do you think we could actually pull off something like that? CONRAD Will, I used to watch holocubes about prison breaks before human entertainment became really big on my planet. In my favorite one, they escape from Sector 9 using a warp drive constructed in the prison! I’ve always wanted to do something like that. Count me in, Will! NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV I would enjoy helping constant thorn-in-my-side comrade William to get home or meet a glorious end like Comrade Komarov! LIU JUN So we’re all agreed? Get William back home? CONRAD It sounds like loads of fun! We’ll get you home in a jiff! WILLIAM McCALISTER Wait, what was that last part Nikolay said? CONRAD Anna, are you with us? ANNA leers at her (full) water glass and looks at the others’ glasses that are in different levels. ANNA MAURICE Is Princi-pal spiking the water or something? Because it seems to me you’ve all gone mental! REWRITE----- LIU JUN Look, we've got all the skills to build a spacecraft. Conrad knows physics, Nikolay can weld, and despite his his incompetence, Will knows how to source everything we'll need WILLIAM McCALISTER Hey! I’ll have you know that I am proudly wasting my potential! LIU JUN (cont’d) …Anna is our resident computer genius. And as someone who understands all of the above (of course), I could supervise. If Will wants to go home, I say we can all chip in and actually send him back. CONRAD Golly, this is just like those prison break shows on the holocube back home, count me in! NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV I would enjoy helping constant thorn-in-my-side comrade William to get home, or meet a glorious end like Comrade Komarov! LIU JUN So we’re all agreed? Get William back home? CONRAD It sounds like loads of fun! We’ll get you home in a jiff! WILLIAM McCALISTER Wait, what was that last part Nikolay said? CONRAD Anna, are you with us? ANNA leers at her (full) water glass and looks at the others’ glasses that are in different levels. ANNA MAURICE Is Princi-pal spiking the water or something? Because it seems to me you’ve all gone mental! --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 4 --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 5 WILLIAM McCALISTER C’mon Anna. You said it yourself. None of my plans ever work. That’s because I do them solo. If everyone chips in for one grand scheme, it might work! LIU stands up. LIU JUN Help us, Anna! We can even do the movie thing people do where we all form a team by putting our hands in a circle. I know how much you love your western movies. LIU places her right hand in the center of the table. Everyone else does the same. Conrad tries to put his hand on Liu’s, but she moves her hand so it is on top of William's. LIU JUN If we all work together, we can bring Will back to- LIU turns to WILLIAM. LIU JUN (cont.) Where are you from? WILLIAM McCALISTER Wyoming. Everyone, still holding their hand out, looks at each other in confusion. LIU Really? NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV I've never heard of it. CONRAD Will, is Wyoming another one of those human joke places like Atlantis, or Belgium? WILLIAM MCCALISTER It’s a real place! There’s… just… like five total people living in the state. NIKOLAY Ah, so the Magadan oblast of America. WILLIAM motions to ANNA WILLIAM MCCALISTER (con’t) C’mon Anna, we need your help. Liu is smart, but do you really trust these goobers to program a spaceship that actually gets me through the vast reaches of space? WILLIAM points out the window and ANNA winces. ANNA MAURICE Ah, screw it, Will is going to die without my help. ANNA smiles a bit and places her hand on top of the Liu's. Liu smiles at her. LIU JUN Let’s do it. The group's hands go up in unison. --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 5 --------------------------------------------------------------------- COMIC 6 CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL WAREHOUSE - AFTERNOON NIKOLAY is welding sheets of metal together. NIKOLAY and WILLIAM are working out math equations on a chalkboard. ANNA is on her laptop hard at work. CONRAD opens his Space Cola and walks over to ANNA. LIU is still wiring stuff in the cockpit. CONRAD How’s the coding over here? Enjoying William and Nikolay's calculations? ANNA MAURICE I mean, it's going fine, but I keep wondering if the burn times are off. I know my code is right, this might mean something else is- CONRAD Oh, don't worry, Liu checked the math with this cool little electric device called a calculator. (yelling) HEY LIU CAN I SEE THE CALCULATOR? From offscreen, a calculator hits CONRAD in the face as he tries and fails to catch it. He pulls it out of his face (in a somewhat Looney Tunes-ish way) and proceeds to input a bunch of numbers CONRAD (cont.) Aaaand you see, nothing to worry about! ANNA MAURICE (hesitantly) If you say so. CONRAD Oh! And you'll never guess what happens when you type in 80085! SCENE CHANGE Conrad has constructed biplane wings on the spacecraft out of plywood and duct tape CONRAD How do these wings look, Liu? LIU *muttering* There is no wind resistance in space, you imbecile. CONRAD I know that! But they look cool! Like your earth planes! And the shuttle I came on had wings! CONRAD walks up to a large diagram of the moon, Space Station, and Earth. CONRAD Besides you don’t NEED control! It’s a straight shot from here to here. Will can get there without a hitch. WILLIAM McCALISTER Are you sure liquid-based rocket fuel is a good idea, Nikolay? I've heard a lot of bad things about it. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV Trust me, little William, liquid-based rockets are most stable, Anna will certainly have far more control than your American solid-state rocket. ANNA MAURICE Sure I will, as long as the craft doesn't explode like half of your launches. WILLIAM McCALISTER It does WHAT NOW?! NIKOLAY shakes both of his fists in the air and looks up at the ceiling. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV This time it will be different! CONRAD C’mon Will, It's not like this is rocket science or anything. WILLIAM is now looking at ANNA, distraught. WILLIAM McCALISTER If rocket science were real, this would be it! ANNA and CONRAD are laughing. CONRAD Ahaha! ANNA MAURICE We know, we just like giving you a hard time. WILLIAM McCALISTER Well… Thanks, guys. I can’t believe this is happening. Finally, I can go home. ANNA MAURICE What do you plan on doing when you get back? WILLIAM McCALISTER Probably fishing. I used to cut class on nice days to go swimming or fishing at the local river. I’m definitely going to find a nice shady spot under a tree and take a nap while breathing in non-recycled, all natural air. *chuckles* ANNA Are you like, Tom Sawyer or something? CONRAD My God, you're boring. How old are you, 69? CONRAD winks and nudges LIU. She looks up and scowls. LIU JUN The cockpit is ready. CONRAD Hehe, cockpit. LIU elbows CONRAD's stomach. CONRAD (in Spain but the s is silent) Ow! LIU JUN How does everything else look? ANNA Liu, I have some concerns about the code, are you sure that these times are right? I’m just worried about William’s safety. LIU waves ANNA aside, refusing to look at anything. LIU Anna, Anna. You are the brightest computer mind in this entire station. I am sure that between the calculations, which I personally checked, and your flawless code, William will arrive home safe and sound enough to spend the rest of his days being a couch potato. MONTAGE- The A-Team theme starts. ANNA places a chip into the computer in the cockpit. NIKOLAY welds the rockets onto the back. CONRAD paints flames on the side of the ship and Liu throws a wrench at him From space, the lighting on the Station cycles from the night through the early morning. BACK TO SCENE INT. SCHOOL AIRLOCK/GARBAGE DISPOSAL- EARLY MORNING/NEXT DAY WILLIAM sits in the cockpit wearing an astronaut suit. ANNA, LIU, and NIKOLAY stand behind the airlock. CONRAD is looking out the window and continues drinking his Space Cola. WILLIAM attempts to communicate with the others through the window of the cockpit, but his voice is heavily muffled. ANNA MAURICE What is he trying to say? WILLIAM continues to muffle incoherently. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV Can you understand him? WILLIAM rolls his eyes and aggressively gives two thumbs up. ANNA and NIKOLAY respond with thumbs-ups. LIU sighs while waving goodbye. WILLIAM enters the cockpit and closes the hatch. LIU JUN So when are we in the right orbital position? ANNA Looks down at her watch. ANNA MAURICE In about… THIRTY SECONDS AGO! LIU JUN Wǒ kào! LIU hits the button near the airlock doors on the wall, ejecting the flying rocket out of the space station into the vacuum of space. ANNA MAURICE A few seconds off isn't too bad; I'm sure he'll still hit Earth. CONRAD You’re right. I just hope he speaks Canadian. CONRAD finishes his drink and crushes the can on his head. ANNA MAURICE Rockets should boost in 3 2 1… The rockets on WILLIAM’s spacecraft ignite, and the spacecraft starts flying across the window. Nikolay starts clapping as well as LIU. ANNA breathes a sigh of relief. CONRAD is now eating the crushed can like a cookie. CONRAD Holy cow, we actually did it! LIU JUN And without a hitch too! Now we can finally return to our peaceful lives at school. Maybe for a replacement they’ll send up a nerd who won’t constantly push everyone’s buttons while trying to get expelled, or a big, strong cowgirl… The rocket, initially on a straight line towards Earth, starts veering away from the planet into the deep reaches of space. CONRAD Well, that’s not good. ANNA MAURICE Shit. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL WAREHOUSE - Early Morning ANNA frantically flips through the code on her laptop. CONRAD and NIKOLAY are calculating the trajectory of WILLIAM’s landing. LIU looks at the chalkboard deep in thought. ANNA MAURICE Shitshitshit I don't get it… The code was flawless! He should still be fine, right? Like, we're not that far from Earth's gravitational pull! CONRAD Well, seeing how the rocket flew against the Earth's rotation, there is no doubt in my mind that he's now going to land on...Uranus CONRAD smiles and looks at LIU; LIU angrily looks at NIKOLAY. LIU JUN …Nikolay, by any chance, did you forget to convert Will’s figures from imperial to metric during your calculations? Nikolay’s eyes grow large with realization and he looks side to side sheepishly. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV …No. LIU looks across the board and does a mental abacus while going down the board. LIU JUN You… Did… Not. The group goes back to the chalkboard and Liu corrects the final figures. The Group turns slowly at Nikolay. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV I’ll have you know I graduated in the top of my class at Moscow State University!…’s middle school program, and never once had to convert “feet per second”. ANNA MAURICE Okay… okay… okay… Scheisse, maybe there’s some way that we can go get him? NIKOLAY …I mean if NASA has to do two sets of calculations, it’s no wonder Yuri Gagarin was the first man in- LIU Zip it Nikolay. Let’s listen to Anna. CONRAD studies the figures on the board. CONRAD Not unless you want them alive now we don't have much time at all. LIU JUN Wǒ cāo! What are we going to do now? CONRAD Don't worry I can fix this… That is what I would have said if I knew how. ANNA MAURICE We could get Krissy to help us, She’s… reasonable LIU JUN No, no no no no. If any of the staff gets wind of this, WE are going to be expelled with Will. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV Comrades, there is another way, WE rescue William as a team! NIKOLAY looks out the window. The camera then switches to where a parked space shuttle is seen. NIKOLAY’s face is confident. The group places their hands in the center. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV In the Soviet Union, KGB Agen- I mean the children, are taught ways on how to fly such spacecraft. ANNA MAURICE I have a bad feeling about this… Are you sure you can fly this Nikolay? NIKOLAY smiles with determination and puts on some aviator shades. Nikolay Da. CONRAD I think he is fairly confident. ANNA MAURICE You guys are going to get yourselves killed without a navigator. The group throws their hands up in unison as the group breaks off and starts running out of the hangar towards the Space Shuttle. CUT TO: EXT. SPACE - MORNING WILLIAM’s rocket, now out of fuel, floats across empty space without direction or course. WILLIAM sits in the cockpit in a fetal position. INT. ROCKET - MORNING WILLIAM McCALISTER (V.O.) Well, It looks like I fumbled the ball on this one. WILLIAM takes out a notebook. It’s the journal he's been keeping with some doodles on the cover. He opens the notebook and proceeds to start writing with a pencil. WILLIAM McCALISTER (V.O.) Ground control to Major Tom, I guess Anna was right and I was wrong. *halfhearted chuckle* These are the final Memoirs of William McCallister. Date: September 3rd, 1990. If, by some holy miracle, someone comes across the remains of a poorly constructed rocket, please know that I was not some brave space explorer trying to reach the unknown or a mad conqueror trying to escape capture from a ruthless army. Remember me as a humble, hardworking student who only wanted to get back home from a situation he never wanted to be a part of. If there are bodies of water or, I guess, liquidized dihydrogen monoxide, please toss whatever remnants are in here near any body of dihydrogen monoxide. Sincerely, “A boy who just wanted to go home”. WILLIAM places his pencil down as the song The Smiths - "What difference does it make?" plays. He grabs the notebook and he leans back on the chair. He sees the oxygen meter down to 25%. WILLIAM McCALISTER (V.O.) Heh, guess we expected I’d be back on Earth by now. As WILLIAM closes his eyes in acceptance of his fate, a shadow looms through the window over his curled-up body. The camera zooms out, revealing the source of the shadow: a space shuttle, with a large metal claw and a man in a spacesuit protruding from the open hatch, slowly extending towards the amateurish rocket. INT. SPACE SHUTTLE - MORNING NIKOLAY is sitting in the passenger's seat. ANNA and LIU are wrestling with the controls of the Canadarm, while CONRAD is in a spacesuit standing on the Canadarm. Each character is in their respective country’s space jumpsuits. ANNA MAURICE And I thought carnival claw games were hard! LIU JUN At least those allow you to use gravity to do half the work. ANNA MAURICE At least we are doing a much better job than the Russki over here. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV Don't blame me for stupid American controls. What capitalist dog does not use inverted controls in a spacecraft? CONRAD Didn’t they get to the moon before you guys? ANNA chuckles. NIKOLAY scowls. The shot changes back to the Canadarm. As CONRAD is getting closer and closer to the rudimentary spacecraft he extends his right arm that is holding a large carabiner. He stretches closer and closer to the spacecraft until he's able to hook the carabiner to one of the hatches on the craft. CONRAD I got him! Conrad Hits his Head on the rocket, knocking him out, His hands however are firmly gripped to the Rocket LIU JUN He still has him! ANNA MAURICE Reeling him in! The Canadarm is shown reeling the rudimentary spacecraft. WILLIAM has lost consciousness as well as CONRAD. As soon as both are inside of the shuttle the hatch closes. ANNA pulls out WILLIAM who is still unconscious. ANNA MAURICE He's still breathing! LIU walks up to the co-pilot seat and sits down, appearing to stop pressing buttons. LIU JUN You ready for the return trip there, *comrade*? NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV Ahahaha! Fear not my fellow comrade, I got everyone all the way here, didn’t I? LIU Well, did your pilot training include docking the spacecraft? NIKOLAY O-of course! We covered that! Who said we didn’t? The space shuttle turns around. The shuttle is seen passing through the moon’s light, heading back toward the Space Station. CONRAD You got used to the controls, right Red? NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV Of course! My landings are as smooth as the vodka in comrade Stalin’s liquor cabin- The space shuttle immediately starts scratching the side of the space station, nervous Nikolay moves the joystick only making the scratching worse. LIU JUN You’re speeding right by, we’re going to miss our intercept window. My controls. NIKOLAY Your controls. LIU presses a few buttons on the shuttle, allowing her to take control of the craft. She straightens out the shuttle but presses too hard on the ignition, missing the docking bay and crashing straight into the general hanger, bumping into a 1985 Rolls-Royce Silver Spur sitting in the hanger on a parking spot labeled “Prinicpal” The door opens as the group carries WILLIAM. CONRAD is nowhere to be seen. LIU JUN If we make it inside fast enough they won't be able to realize that we did this... The hangar doors open to the general space station and standing at the front door is none other than KRISSY MCCAULEY with crossed arms, looking at the group and the damaged shuttle behind them. CHRISTA MCAULIFFE You know, I'm very impressed you guys were able to do all this, but I'm still going to have to report this to the Principal. LIU looks down and lowers her head in defeat. CUT TO: INT- PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE-AFTERNOON WILLIAM, ANNA, LIU, and NIKOLAY sit next to ELEANOR ROBYN O'CARNEY, standing across from PRINCI-PAL. PRINCI-PAL I’m sorry. I’m afraid I’m not understanding the issue here. The rocket launched successfully. And the If anything, they should all be getting straight A's for their Astronautics course. ANNA MAURICE We’re… not… in an Astronautics course. ELEANOR facepalms. PRINCI-PAL Listen, I’m the Principal here. I hate these damn meetings, and I will say whatever it takes to get out of this… my… MY CAR?! WHERE IS MY CAR?! WILLIAM McCALISTER We might have dented it LIU JUN Not really PRINCI-PAL God, what do you kids want from me?! Is it detention? Fine, you all get detention for the rest of the week! LIU JUN Oh, C’mon. ANNA MAURICE I haven't used any punches for my detention card! PRINCI-PAL I have spoken! William needs to go to school like the estimated 1,055,727,957 children on Earth. Now, run along. I have some very important Principal-business to attend to. The group is escorted out by ELENANOR. PRINCI-PAL’s screen changes to a digitized chess board. It looks to be a close game. One of the bishops moves across the board. PRINCI-PAL Hmmm, fascinating it appears the only winning move… is not to play… Eleanor fetch my keys… Eleanor? INT- DETENTION-LATE AFTERNOON LIU, WILLIAM, ANNA, and NIKOLAY sit in front of desks in the detention hall dejectedly. WILLIAM slams his head on his desk. WILLIAM McCALISTER Why did you guys come back from me? Why can't you just leave me out there in peace? ANNA MAURICE And live with the fact that you're probably dead because we helped you on your crazy crusade? Hell no. NIKOLAY PATRUSHEV Humanity needs to stay united. This detention is a small price to pay to keep us together. From the door arrives CONRAD flipping a coin with his right hand. CONRAD You have to admit, what we did was pretty cool. LIU JUN Wait a minute- you’re just as guilty as the rest of us. Why weren’t you at the Principal’s meeting? CONRAD What meeting? I was assigned to keep watch over some troublemaking students to make sure they came to detention and from the looks of this… CONRAD pulls out a clipboard and starts marking up names. CONRAD It looks to me that everyone has shown up and spent their 1 hour of detention already. ANNA MAURICE An hour? We've only been here for 5 minutes! CONRAD Well, I don't know about you, but from reading this clipboard– that only I have the authority to fill out, it says that you've already spent your hour today. Go on, get out of here! Especially you… CONRAD pulls out a book with an image of the Pioneer plaque labeled "101 Human Pick-up Lines, For Morons!" CONRAD (cont.) Hot Stuff. Off-camera LIU throws her backpack and hits CONRAD. CONRAD falls but morphs back to standing. The group starts to leave the room as CONRAD grabs WILLIAM and pulls him to his side. INT- SCHOOL HALLWAY-LATE AFTERNOON CONRAD Regardless of how the launch went, it was pretty brave of you to get in that. WILLIAM McCALISTER Bravery is just stupidity that works. We should really say, “It was pretty stupid of me to get in that”. CONRAD Oh, come on, don't say that. WILLIAM McCALISTER We got nowhere near home, and I could bet my life that I'm definitely going to be watched closely after pulling that stunt. CONRAD At least you can write about being the first person to be launched by the first, and possibly only, rocket made by human teenagers! WILLIAM McCALISTER Eeeh… WILLIAM McCALISTER That's on Tuesday, and the phrase is “Taco Tuesday”, not “Taco night”. Today I think it's just a green bean casserole. CONRAD I've never had a casserole before… Unless lasagna is considered a pasta casserole? WILLIAM McCALISTER No, that's not… Oh, wait a minute… Conrad, you might be onto something! CONRAD What else would be a casserole that hasn’t been classified as one yet? WILLIAM McCALISTER Let’s see… I guess baked macaroni and cheese is a casserole? CONRAD Would nachos be a chip casserole? If you put it in the oven, of course. WILLIAM McCALISTER No, that’s just stupid. ANNA walks up to CONRAD and WILLIAM. ANNA MAURICE What’s up? WILLIAM McCALISTER Conrad and I are trying to figure out what meals are technically casseroles, but haven't been classified as such. CONRAD I think baked nachos fit copacetic ally into the casserole description. ANNA MAURICE Nah, but a large quiche could be considered a fancy spinach and egg casserole. WILLIAM McCALISTER Yeah, you’re right… As the group is walking down the hallway towards the cafeteria, the Theme of the Show plays, ending the episode.